So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
