Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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