She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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