Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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