He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
