I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize