I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
