there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize