well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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