I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize