I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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