Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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