my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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