And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
