Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
