So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
