Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
