YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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