hell yes lets make some ravioli
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
