Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
