WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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