Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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