Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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