Cold hands, warm shart.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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