are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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