I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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