I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
