I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
