I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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