Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Nicole vs. Life
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
