she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
