My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
