He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
