I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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