I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
