this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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