Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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