Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
