can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize