Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
