just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
