3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
