I puked a lego.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
