The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
