The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
