i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
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We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
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Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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