Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
