this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
