The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
