Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
