nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
