cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
