honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize