i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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