Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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