You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
