My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
