I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
