Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
