I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
