Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
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You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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