weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Drake has all the answers
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
