You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
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I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
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Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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